10 Most Common Sexual Fantasies Women Have

When we talk about sexual fantasies, many assume men have more or spicier ones—but decades of research tells a different story. Women report a rich and diverse fantasy life, often blending emotional, erotic, adventurous, and taboo elements. Based on large surveys (notably Justin Lehmiller’s work) and academic studies, here are ten themes women most commonly report.

For a simple overview of where fantasies fit inside wider kink culture, see 20 Most Common Kinks (Explained Simply).

1. Passion & Intensity / Romantic Connection

One of the strongest and most enduring fantasy themes involves feeling deeply desired and passionately connected. Many women fantasize about an idealized lover who expresses devotion, vulnerability, emotional intensity, and erotic connection.

• These fantasies often combine emotional closeness + sexual arousal (e.g. “making love under candlelight, with intense eye contact”).
• It’s not uncommon for existing or past partners to appear in fantasies—though often idealized versions, not literal recreations.

Why it appears so often: Emotional intimacy helps cushion vulnerability. Blending romance + eroticism makes the scenario feel safe yet thrilling.

2. Power, Control & Dominance / BDSM Themes

Another extremely common set of fantasies involves role dynamics—especially scenarios where the fantasyer is the more submissive side (though dominance fantasies appear too).

• Examples: being restrained, spanked, told what to do, or engaging in light bondage.
• Lehmiller’s taxonomy groups “power, control, and rough sex” high among fantasies across genders—but women frequently report the “receiving control” version.

These fantasies aren’t about harm—they’re about surrendering control in a safe, consensual context. If a more assertive dynamic appeals, you might like How to Encourage Your Partner to Be More Dominant.

3. Consensual Non-Consent / “Forced Sex” Fantasies

Perhaps surprisingly, many women report fantasies involving non-consensual roleplay—i.e. a “rape fantasy” in which they imagine being overpowered—but crucially only in fantasy, not as a real desire.

• In college samples, ~50-60% of women have reported such a fantasy at least once.
• Researchers emphasize that these are erotic constructions, often about extreme intensity, loss of control, or surrender—and not indicative of real harm wishes.

If exploring this in writing, clarity on consent, boundaries, and roleplay-only is essential. For a related taboo theme, see Why Does Humiliation Turn Me On?.

4. Multipartner Scenarios / Threesomes & Group Sex

Many women fantasize about having sex with more than one partner at once—most commonly, threesomes.

• These scenarios can include watching, participating, or rotating.
• In Lehmiller’s dataset, multipartner genres feature strongly among both male and female fantasies.

These fantasies often revolve around variety, novelty, or shared erotic energy rather than jealousy or competition. If this curiosity resonates, see How to Ask Your Partner About a Threesome.

5. Novelty & Adventure / Trying Something New

One of the biggest drivers in fantasy life is simply doing something different—new positions, new settings, roleplay, costumes, blindfolds, sensory play, or toys.

• This category is broad but shows up in nearly every large fantasy survey.
• Even when core themes are familiar, the “twist” or fresh element is often what turns it into a fantasy.

Novelty helps maintain arousal over time and keeps sexual imagination active.

Curious which of these fantasies you and your partner secretly share? Echo is a private matching app for couples: you both answer separately, and only mutual “yeses” are revealed. No awkward rejections—just clear overlaps to explore together. Discover Shared Fantasies with Echo.

6. Public or Risky Locations (Exhibitionism & Voyeurism)

Many fantasies involve the idea of having sex somewhere you might get caught or where there’s slight risk of discovery—on a beach, in a garden, in semi-public spaces.

• This ties to excitement, adrenaline, and taboo.
• Some fantasies are about being watched (voyeurism) or being partially exposed.

Because fantasy allows you to control risk (you know it remains safe), it’s a popular space to explore this edge.

7. Nonmonogamy & Watching Partner with Others

Closely related to multipartner fantasies is fantasizing about a partner with someone else—watching, sharing, or orchestrating.

• Terms like “hot wife,” “cuckquean,” or partner swapping appear in fantasies even by monogamous women.
• These are often about heightening arousal through novelty, jealousy, or erotic contrast.

In fantasy form, this allows safe exploration of wanting your partner’s desire to be witnessed or shared.

8. Same-Sex / Female-Female Fantasies

Women—regardless of their orientation—often report fantasies involving other women.

• Lehmiller’s and other studies find that women frequently fantasize about sexual experiences involving female partners or partners of both genders.
• These fantasies may emphasize intimacy, sensual touch, or experimentation.

This doesn’t necessarily reflect orientation; fantasy is a space of exploration.

9. Act-Specific Fantasies: Oral, Fingering, etc.

Beyond theme-level fantasies, many women fantasize about specific acts—receiving or giving oral sex, manual stimulation, edged orgasm control, using toys, being watched while pleasuring, etc.

• These often integrate with other fantasy themes above (e.g. partner + oral, group + oral, etc.).
• Because they’re more concrete, act-focused fantasies are easier to sustain mentally and often appear in daily fantasy life.

10. Taboo / Forbidden Contexts

This is a broader catch-all: fantasies about crossing boundaries—e.g., having sex with authority figures, age-gap (in fantasy, not real minors), illicit affairs, or on “off-limits” territories.

• The thrill comes from the sense of danger or boundary-breaking.
• As always, fantasy is not the same as reality—many fantasies involve contexts you’d never want to act on.

Putting It Together: Patterns & Principles

From these top ten, we see several patterns:

• Fantasy is safe exploration: Many reported fantasies involve risk, power, or taboo—but always in a mental, controlled space.
• Overlap & blending: Fantasies rarely stay neatly in one bucket. Many combine romance + power + novelty + act specificity.
• Fantasy ≠ consent to act: What you imagine doesn’t always translate to what you want in real life.
• Context matters: Emotional state, relationship dynamics, and life phase shift what fantasies feel arousing.

If you want practical steps for starting the conversation, see How to Share a Fantasy Without Embarrassment.